Tell me what you think? How to do it.

Probably, my most asked question from a client. Usually clients say three things to me at the outset of an assignment:
1. Tell us what you really think.
2. Shake things up. We are tired to the status quo!
3. This is a family owned business. I want to know about my kids (or other relatives) in
the business and how they are doing.

Very seldom, maybe never, do they really mean that. What they are really saying is:
1. Tell me what I want to hear!
2. Things are just fine the way they are, do not rock the boat.
3. My kids (or other family members) are immune from criticism or evaluation.

I thought that I would give you an example of all three of these from actual experience. Obviously, I have changed the names to protect the innocent. There have been many times that I believe that I have had my contract terminated because I answered these questions honestly and directly. Most of the time I try to "speak the truth in love" (that is from Ephesians in the Bible for you heathens LOL). Does not matter! It is always taken personally and usually dreadfully. Not always though. Some people appreciate not being a "yes man" and those have been really rewarding for everyone.

I wrote a letter to a company CEO that I had heard was having some internal problems. He and his wife owned the company and had done a very nice job of building a company with a great product/service, fair pricing and some pretty good people. The CEO called me and asked me to come in. I did and we agreed that I would be hired as an Interim Executive on a consulting basis. After being there about two months, I received an e-mail from the President (wife of the Chairman and CEO). She asked me to tell her my heart on an issue. I made two mistakes:
1. I should have called a meeting and talked to her face to face. That is what I am known for and what I usually do. But this time I responded via e-mail.
2. She did not want to know my heart, she wanted me to say that she had handled the situation well and everyone else was wrong. I did not do that. She was dead wrong and I told her so.

Should I have been kinder? Maybe. Should I have been less direct? Never. She took my comments as an accusation of misconduct and if we had been face to face, I am sure that what I was trying to get across would have been much clearer and much less accusatory. She could have seen my reactions and body language and I could have seen hers. She was a very direct person too. Usually direct, senior management people do not like being dealt with directly. They say they do, but what they really want is to be stroked for their brilliance or for building such a wonderful business. Usually, they do not like being wrong. In this case, the entire company had a huge problem with their identity as people being tied up in their titles. That is a subject to be dealt with later.

Always tell the truth, always be straight forward, but always do it in person.

What do you think? Tomorrow number 2.